Jen Barrett, chair, Friends of Ninelands, Leeds (444 pupils)
Why are PTAs predominantly female? In the two years I have been on the committee, I can count the number of male volunteers on one hand. When I asked: ‘Why aren’t men helping?’
I was usually met with a roll of the eyes, sarcasm or laughter. But I’m serious. When it comes to getting involved with this aspect of their children’s school experience, why am I met with silence from the men?
Faced with this challenge, I invited feedback from male friends. Inevitably there were a few who feel they just ‘don’t have the time’, and I do understand that. However, I also received responses that made me realise there is plenty of room for improvement when it comes to setting an example to our children.
‘Not a chance, sorry, I don’t like people.’ You’d be surprised how many times I heard this general reluctance to socialise through the PTA.
‘There’s a reticence to get involved for fear of people thinking there’s some sort of predatory motive.’ Have we made it so unwelcoming for men that the idea of them serving refreshments at a school event somehow makes them a potential predator? Is this societal thinking?
‘Quite often, people who join committees are the type who don’t make senior grades professionally, so they go berserk at the sniff of power.’ This dad didn’t realise he was talking to the chair, though I admire his honesty. And I have to admit, I was guilty of thinking this prior to joining. The stereotypes have done us no favours.
‘As a dad, you’re often on the fringe. No one quite knows what to do with you, so they ask you to lift tables.’ When I asked how we could improve things, this dad said: ‘Honest invites. Clear roles. Make it a space where everyone’s not just welcome but wanted. It matters because our kids are watching, and they’re building their blueprint for who does what. When they see their dad helping, it changes expectations. So invite us, trust us, let us help with more than just the tables.’
With these comments in mind, I put out a newsletter appeal seeking male volunteers. I invited them to get together and come up with some ideas. Just three days later, a dad reached out to ask if I needed more volunteers. He became the first male volunteer in our shop in at least three years. It turns out he works in retail procurement, so had phenomenally useful experience, and he was great with the children.
So my new approach is to be direct and to reach out personally. Perhaps in time the dads will step up and organise an event. In the meantime, we will work on reassuring them that the PTA is not an exclusive club. Our goal remains the same and is open to all: to support and benefit the children.
